When marketers use social media they’re only even going to reach a certain number of people because most don’t care and don’t want to be marketed to. I’ve written a spoof article showing marketers who the majority are they’re actually trying to connect with.


A lot of people seem to think marketing to people on social media is going to bring them great success, but I wonder if they realize 99% of people who use different social media platforms don’t want to be marketed to. I’m sure you’ll manage to connect with a few people because you’re a skilled marketer, but here is a brief overview of the majority of people you’re trying to reach out to.




You market to people on Facebook who love to click on stuff while spying on what their friends ate for lunch. Whenever they see a pretty picture they can’t help clicking on it. If you get this right you end up with hundreds of thousands of fans, but they don’t care about anything you say. They just wanted to click something and if you keep giving them something to click on they will keep clicking. Facebook realized the problem a long time ago and around 98% of the people on your fan page don’t actually see your new posts.




LinkedIn is completely different because this time you’re marketing to professionals you want to work with or for. You want them to think you’re amazing so you’ll start stalking them. If they’re well-known you know it’s a waste of time marketing to them, so you’ll market to some of their friends instead. If you become friends with their friends it means they’ll help you befriend their well-known friend. It’s a complete head spin. You won’t get the job of your dreams, but you’re halfway towards a degree in stalking.




You post photos on Pinterest when your partner stops paying attention to you. From now on you’ll dedicate your life to marketing your photos to bored house wives with nothing better to do at night than to sit on Pinterest. Every time someone re-pins one of your photos it will feel like you’ve won the lottery. They just like your photo; they don’t want to give you their money. Pinterest is a little strange because you don’t actually gain anything from the platform except the admiration of thousands of women from all over the world.




Now it’s getting interesting because Twitter is mostly comprised of young professionals. When you market on Twitter you’re marketing to people who are lazy at their jobs. Instead of working they’ll spend all their time following people in case they share an unhelpful quote from someone who has been dead for hundreds of years. If you’re lucky they might retweet one of your tweets and it doesn’t mean anything unless there is a link back to your website, but at least you can feel good about your high follower count as you slide around your hardwood floor doing fist pumps.


Google Plus


Google+ is the new kid on the block and most people don’t even know how to use it. If they have a Google+ account it’s usually because it was forced on them while they were trying to start a YouTube channel. I don’t even think anyone knows how to use the platform properly, so if you find people following you and +1’ing your posts it’s likely they’re trying to learn what to do. They’ll eventually get bored after a while and you’ll only ever be marketing to the new people who sign up and use it for a week before disappearing.


Author Bio:Nancy Baker, the author of this article, is a freelance blogger who is currently writing for, Alliance Floor Source , a reputable flooring company. She loves decorating her home with cute and innovative DIY projects. You can also follow her on Twitter @Nancy Baker.